Not going to beat around the bush with this entry, got something on my chest I have to vent about it! Do you have that friend who no matter how hard you try you shake them, has their claws in you like a tick on the hyde of a deer? Or that friend who can't go anywhere solo, but when they've found that you've gone out solo they get upset and say, "why didn't do call me, I could've went with you?". Perhaps you've been that friend who simply can't fathom doing anything along and will sit home countless weekends pissed with the world because you want to go out but don't have anyone to go with you. Or that person in your life who is visibly upset that you're so darn independent and have no quams about going to the club, park or anywhere alone.
Here's another scenario, do you know someone who walks through life with a grey cloud over their head? It's NEVER sunny on their side of the street, it's always doom and gloom! Woe is me is their mantra! They are never truly happy for others, they pretend, but as soon as they get the chance they have something negeative to say. The worst part of particuliar persons' personality is they will get super pissed with you when you won't subscribe to their pity party. They will say you're not compassionate or lack sensitivity because you won't waddle in their misery along with them. You can talk 'til you're blue in the face, trying to get them to see the good in their situation or trying to reason with them that things could be far worse. When you offer encouraging words, they can't be satisified with anything positive. As long as you're being positive and trying to show them the positive points in their situation, then you just don't understand or you're simply not sensitive to what they're going through. The only thing that seems to bring them sheer, utter joy is when you slip down into that negative pit, roll around and get all those negative vibes on your body, then you've suddenly become this person they can relate to and talk about.
This week I watched several Youtube vids discussing Toxic People & Toxic Relationships, as I watched all I could do is shake my head in aggreance because I've come in contract with those people and some are still in my life. I often wonder, how can someone function properly day-to-day when they're toxic. Do they not realize their behavior or has it happened so long that they feel it's just how they are as people? Better yet, how can they feel everyone else is at fault, but they can't see that they clearly played a part in things.
Working with a codependant person is hard, but working with one who is negative ALL the time is a struggle in and of itself. Doesn't matter what you say, they can ALWAYS trump the positive energy, they have had it worse than anyone else, they get treated worse than anyone else, they are always left out of the group, so one and so forth! It is exhausting dealing with this type person day in and day out. Just me typing and thinking about it is draining. The crazy part about it all, is that sometimes they assume what they are doing is so much more important than anything else goin gon in this world. I feel like this, if their time is so valuable, why sit around and wait on others???? Get your ass up and go out into the world and handle your business.......by yourself with a smile on your face because all hell might be breaking loose, but at least you were spared to see another day!
OK, so I'm back to finishing this entry that I started on the 5th!!! Kinda got a tad bit busy and overwhelmed and sometimes underwhelmed, but nonethless, I'm back to finish this thing.
So, as I was saying, you have to be careful of toxic people! They will cling on to you like a leech slowly sucking your blood and killing your spirit 'til there's nothing left and you're more like them. A son just popped into my head "People Make the World Go 'Round", well toxic people makes it spin off it's axis. Thinking about it you really can't be rid of them because they're EVERYWHERE, we just have to learn how to live and deal with them. When I first started this entry, I was in an irate state because my life seemed to have become inundated with these crazy-type, highly toxic people......I had high levels of toxicity flowing around, over and through me. I pride myself on being able to deal with everybody no matter what level they're on, but this round had taken me aback and I was ashamed of myself for how I was handling it. I thought Thanksgiving would be the break I needed to detox, but noooooo, soon as life hit it's normacy....(is that a word, because I will make up some stuff, let me go check that out)....normalcy, yes, that's the correct word; the toxicity still made my skin crawl!
So, here's what I've decided to do, because ignoring it doesn't work, pretending that the person doesn't exsist doesn't work and mentally hitting the mute button wasn't the ticket, I decided to come to the ring swinging like a champ. No, you can not invade my space, steal my joy, change me nor suck the very life out of my body. There was no more Ms. Nice Co-Worker Lady business going on, the only way to deal with this toxic person was to rise above and treat her toxic tendacies as such, like they were "toxic". You're not having a good morning, fine, keep waddling in it, but you won't try to pull me down with you! For every negative, I through out a positive; for every "whoa is me", I came back with a "why not you"; for every frown, I smiled even harder; for every cup half full, my cup ran over!
It's hard working with a toxic person, hell, it's hard living with one as well. Friends toxic, you relly don't have to deal with them that much, but when you're dealing with some crazy 'endacies on a daily, it can take it's toll on a person. I've always said, "kill 'em with kindness" and when that doesn't work, nip whatever they're trying to deposit in your life in the bud. Life is so short to be dealing with stupid stuff and I refuse to waste my time/energy/emotions on a person that insist on being toxic. I don't want to change you, can't help you change, my best advice is to go get yourself some help because baby I don't get paid enough money to deal with what you're working with nor do I want to.
All in all when you are faced with toxic people, smile and say "Not today". They will ask you "what are you talking about", just smile and say "Not today", then turn around and walk away! "Positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright
Until next time, keep loving, laughing, living and learning.....and watch those toxic people, lol!
UGLYFirst
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