Life is so funny, with all it's positions, the ups and downs, the left and right fields, the present, future and past. Sometimes it's so flipping predictable and other times it's like a tornado, things are so topsy-turvy, scary, disorganized chaos......yes, I believe in "organized" chaos; and in the midst of that tornado is an eye of calmness and peace. That is where I currently reside, in the eye of the storm, while life and it's circumstances are swirling around me, frantic, chaotic, so intensely insane. There I stand, in peace, happiness and solitude, totally unscathed by the bullshit that tries to suck me into it's grimy grips.
I choose happiness, joy and all the good things in life, because that's what I deserve. I totally reject negativity, hatred and aloofness, those things that keep us bound and sick. Don't get me wrong, I fully realize that troubles will come, but in the midst of those turbulent time, I desire strength, courage and wisdom to remain resilient and keep my focus on all things positive - knowing that tough times don't last but tough people do.
I am so ready to start showing others how to treat me and stop just going along with bullshit just to be nice & sweet. I'm tired of people finding fault in me to the point where they require me to become someone else, almost mirror them to make them feel comfortable around me. Get the fuck outta here, I'm tired of that bullshit!
Today, I throw caution into the winds of life and allow myself to feel and fall. I am so ready for love, ready to give all of me, forgetting my track record of yester-year because today is a new day. Has nothing to do with sex or the high of meeting someone new, but today I am doing something I've never done in my life. The walls are down, not denying any emotions, not trying to rationalize anything, not holding back anything, I'm not trying to run the show.......yes, the control freak has left the building! If someone were to ask if I believed in love at first sight, I'd say absolutely, just not for me. I also believe in "Soul mates" and believe that some are meant to be alone. I always believed I was meant to be alone but always dreamed of having love, being in love a long lasting love. Dreams do come true, I'm a firm believer in that, and today I'm walking into my destiny. No, while I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I plan on enjoying the here and the now; I will let tomorrow worry about itself.
Well, I need to end this post and get ready to meet my possible future...............butterflies and all.
Floating on a cloud, somewhere way over the rainbow......
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