Why Am I So Mean?

Ugh! I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, honestly I don't! I have found the older I get, the lower my tolerance level falls for bullshit. I honestly believe I need it get a tested because I have become allergic to certain strains of shit, different strains causes different reactions, some just causes me to break out into hives; while others literally causes me to outright become enraged, there's simply no other way of putting it. When people come with that stupefied, "are you for real" eye-twitching bullshit that they themselves are having a hard-time believing, that's when I become enraged and want to rip them a new asshole! I am trying so hard in this New Year not to subscribe to people's idiotic bullshit and I have decreed a resolution I am thus-ly (yeah, I know, not a word) including this idea in my philosophy of forgiveness.

To include this into my philosophy of forgiveness is HUGE for me, super-duper HUGE! In saying this, I should tell you about my philosophy on forgiveness, so you all can understand where I'm coming from. {However, I will have to save and finish this tomorrow, for I fear my meds have kicked in and I am no longer in control of the typing but the pills are,}
Oh, ok, I'm back! Whew, sleep is the best thing ever! I gotta tell ya, the best medicine one can take for all that ails the soul.

Now, to my philosophy on forgiveness, hold on tight 'cause you're probably not going to believe this, but this is how I govern my life, it might not work for you, but it works for me and helps me sleep better at night. The things that most women would leave a mate for, I normally would not, i.e. cheating, lying, etc.

• Cheating: For most women they say, "oh the relationship would be over if I caught my girl cheating on me". Now for me, I wouldn't end the relationship, I first would have to ask myself and her "why" and that's something most people don't ask. Most partners never ask that question because nine times out of ten they already know the answer.  

Written January 19, 2010, uhhh, not sure why I didn't finish this post, but I didn't. I'm not going to try and finish it because I don't know where my mind was and if I added to it now it wouldn't be the same. Damn, I was mean in January???? Of course I was, I'm always mean who am I kidding, lol. I have to be mean because people take my kindness & sweetness and try to play me, so often I have to put my foot down and show these people that I'm not naive and someone to toy with