What About Yo Friends?!?!

Someone once said, "with friends like these, who needs enemies" it had to get pretty cut throat for someone to make such a strong statement. The reality is amongst some friends it does go to that level and for various reasons but the one the comes to mind is jealousy. Jealousy can prevent a friend from rejoicing with those who are happy, it can cause one to not lend support in any manner, that green-eyed monster will create tension where there shouldn't be tension.

Why, if you say you're a friend, would one become a secret enemy? A question was posed on Facebook today, "Things That People Steal?", well my response was "your joy, your dreams and motivation". Have you ever been excited about something and you decide to share it with a friend and they find a thousand reasons why "it won't work", "too soon too fast", "bad idea", just totally shut you down every time no matter what it is. Granted, it may not have worked or it would've been a horrible idea, but instead of trying to help tweak it or give some positive advice, nope, you're left wishing you never shared shit with them.

Not everyone in your circle of friends is in your corner and the sooner you realize and accept that fact the better you can deal with those "frienemies". Now what I have a hard time understanding is why, why can you not be happy for me even though your life at the present moment isn't so great? Why can you not be a comfort to me when I'm sad or in distress? If I am there for my friends in all capacities you would think those motherfuckers would be there for me, ha, yeah right! Despite how insane I think some of them are or how stupid they act from time to time and how I know their thinking is fucked all the way up, I'm still there for them. I cry with them, listen to their life's drama, laugh and try to inspire them, engage them, indulge them and have even fucked a few of 'em but it seems to me when I'm happy the support wanes and waffles. Oh but let me be sad, heart-broken, drama galore and they seem to be eager to listen, support and be all I need them to be. Yea, that sounds good, but sometime you have to sit back and ask yourself, "why is it that they can be in the moment when my life is turned upside down, always wanting to call, email or text, just be there?"......."are they really that concerned or merely making sure my black ass stay miserable". I'm leaning towards the latter, ahh, but what ya gonna do, people are who they are and there's nothing I can really do to change 'em. Gotta love and accept people where they are in their lives.....took me awhile to embrace that statement.

Basically, I don't think one should sacrifice goals, dreams, ideas and suppress their happy, feel good moments because of friendships. Some have even ended relationships because of what their friends thought, get the hell outta here! Some have put their lives on hold because their girls didn't agree with their ideas and dreams. You know maybe your girls can't be supportive because they have no dreams of their own, they are too afraid to dream. Fear can be a motherfucker, you're too afraid to dream and dammit your friends can't dream either because you don't want to be left behind. If you're confident within yourself, you can be ok when your friends are soaring, happily in love and living out their dreams.

I wrote all of that because it was swirling around in my head and because I feel like none of my friends are happy for me and my relationship......ain't that some shit! Now, I could be wrong but the fact that I feel the way I do speaks volumes. Kinda sucks because I want them to share in my happiness but it's all good because I have a best friend who happens to be my bed mate and we're just tickled pink loving love and loving us.

No, it's not all good because damn, I really wish I had a core group......and by group I mean as few as 2 or 3 that not matter what I knew they were in my corner.

So, what say you? What about yo friends???

Loving, laughing, living, learning and listening,

UGLYFirst